Off To The Races

That's where we were all last week, the Royal Ascot racetrack, providing impeccable service to VIP private boxes. That was actually the easy bit, it was the travel to get there that was the burden. Up at 5am - yes, that's right - each morning. Luckily in this part of the hemisphere the sun is already up at that time, so it eased the transition. Got down to Waterloo station by 6:30am to take an hour-long train trip out to Ascot. We had some great friends to share the trip with, so we were happy AND bleary-eyed, a grand combination.



The boxes were fully stocked for bar needs, with a commanding view of the track, plus a flatscreen TV to get the full race results. The hosts of my box were a very friendly Irish couple, rather well off and great racing enthusiasts. They and their guests placed many wagers, won some and lost some, and were very gracious the whole week. It's no secret that we servers take on the Ascot gig in hopes of getting generous tippers, and I was not disappointed in this regard. The only drawback was that the hosts and their guests seemed to pride themselves on being the last to leave each night, so it was a bit of a rush to clean up, sign out and catch the train home. We'd get home around 11pm each night. LOOOooonnnggg days. Rewarding and fun, but long.


This was how the box looked, with my trusty sidekick James in full uniform. Below is a view of the track.


After a celebratory drink with our AYS friends on the final night of the Races, we took Sunday and Monday to recuperate a bit. On Monday we went out to see the sights of Covent Garden, and witnessed the following hilarious juggler from New Zealand. Covent Garden is chock full of buskers, ecclectic shops, flea markets, and good restaurants.

To cap off the night, we attended a performance of Avenue Q, a gut-bustingly funny Tony Award-winning musical that is best described as a bawdy adult version of Sesame Street, with live performers and Jim Henson-style puppets as the main characters. The show contains such classic tunes as "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist," "If You Were Gay," and "Schadenfreude." If you ever get a chance, go see this show, it's hysterical, intelligent, and in some points quite touching. Made me appreciate just what an impact Henson had on the world.

Walks and Wax

A huge thank-you to Brianne's amazing bridal team for their scrapbook of London attractions. This week we managed to take a Jack the Ripper Walk AND see Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum!

Our Ripper walk left from Tower Hill tube station, and we were guided by Donald Rumbelow, one of the foremost Ripper-ologists in the world. He's written two books on the case and is highly knowledgable and very professional. We strolled through the East End of London viewing the different murder scenes and other points of interest such as The Ten Bells, the pub at which every single Ripper victim drank. We've made a mental note to return there for a pint. All in all it was an interesting trip, though we actors could've used a little more theatricality, such as one gets on the ghost walks in Ottawa. There are, in point of fact, at least half a dozen different ghost walks that we intend to visit. London is considered by some to be the most haunted city in the world, after all.

Today was spent at Madame Tussaud's, and it is very fun and entertaining place. It's set up with waxworks of numerous celebrities - from movie stars to politicians, athletes to ancient royalty - arranged standing around large themed rooms, to make picture taking easy and up-close. Take a look at our album on Facebook to see the full account famous people we bumped into, but enjoy a sample of pics below. There is also the famous Chamber of Horrors, which specializes in depictions of torture and mass murderes such as Vlad the Impaler and Dr. Crippen. There's even an interactive "Chamber Live!" which is basically a walk-through haunted house with actors that jump out at you. A jolly good scare - we both jumped more than once. Another fave exhibit of ours was The Spirit of London, a brief Disney-style animatronic ride in the middle of the museum which takes you through a brief history of London. Highlights include Shakespeare, the London Fire, the building of St. Paul's, and the Swinging 60's. A wonderful experience all around.

Dogs and Other Things

I want a dog. Not going to happen for quite some time, but I want to own a black Lab one day. They're just such soulful, magical dogs. I was reminded how great they were when I met the black Lab of my friend Ed the other day. The dog liked me; any time I stopped petting him, he headbutted me in the crotch. Sorry if I seem indelicate.

Y'know how in North America there was (and perhaps still is) a "fad" of dog breeding in which every mix seemed to involve Poodle somewhere in it? Well, there's a corresponding fad here in England, in that every mix seems to have Bulldog in it. All the dogs around here, from Labs to Daschunds, seem to have that signature Bulldog stockiness. It's an odd sight to see an intimidating weiner dog, I'll tell you.

The last few catering jobs I've had have found me working behind the bar, a change of pace from dinner or canape service. Fairly fun, and you do get a chance to chat with people, but in some cases you are so swamped with thirsty patrons it's all you can do to keep pouring out the bubbly and press it into open hands. Champagne certainly seems to be the thing people will guzzle as long as it's free.

The only real London landmark I've seen this week (work's been crazy) was Camden Market on Sunday. Camden is a truly crazy mish-mash of vintage clothing, antiques, collectibles, novelties, art, food vendors, precious junk, and jewellery made out of cutlery. I'm serious about the last one, there was a stand at which a metal smith was bending and twisting forkes into bracelets and spoons into rings. They looked pretty cool, actually.

Looking forward to some eventual down time to relax and see some more of the city. Especially hoping to take a Ghost Walk, and see how it compares to Ottawa!

Like Royal Father, Like Royal Son

After just missing out on serving Prince Charles a few weeks ago, fate tried to soothe the blow last night when I was the wine waiter for Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh (Queen Elizabeth's husband)!

To be honest, it was a very easy night for me because, just like his son Charles, Phillip had not a drop of drink (not even the water I poured at the outset) all night long. After the third time offering wine before dinner and being waved off, I just stopped bothering him.

Last night's event was at St. James Palace, a beautiful old place which required a security check, passport and proof of address to get into. This palace is the actual residence of Prince Charles. As such, we the wait staff were instructed to be silent while leaving the palace courtyard until we were beyond the main gate, "lest we wake His Royal Highness." I admit this conjured in my head of vision of Charles emerging in a huff from some side door wearing a night shirt, floppy night cap and bunny slippers, chasing away noisy waiters with a broom, shouting things like "Scallywags!"

Insert Monkey Joke Here

Rather than come up with a lame joke for a title, I'll let you hear the following story and create your own joke at my expense.

Yesterday, Brianne and I went down to Canary Wharf in the south of London (think Toronto Harbourfront for a visual) for a catering gig. It was a whiskey and cheese tasting, which we had trained for a couple of weeks ago, giving away samples of Ardbeg 10-year-old Scotch Whiskey with a selection of cheeses. A very tasty experience.

Brianne was set up in a little community square with bottles and cheeseboards, while I . . . was two blocks away at the Tube station, standing for two and a half hours holding a sign to indicate (primarily to invited members of the press) just exactly where the tasting was.

That's not the best bit.

The best bit is that for the last twenty minutes of this . . . THEY PUT ME IN A GORILLA SUIT.

I am NOT joking.

Part of their marketing involved the phrase "untamed spirit" and a promotional van called The Beastie with a chain motif on it. So I put on a rubber and fur gorilla costume, held the sign a little longer, and then took a bunch of promotional photos holding the sign, pretending to drive The Beastie, and even holding a bottle of whiskey like Fay Wray and pretending to climb a building. There was absolutley NO forewarning to all this, by the way.

Brianne was in tears, she was laughing so hard. I played it to the hilt, recalling animal mimicry exercises I did at Randolph (any of my de Sade castmates remember that one?), and gave them a very creative and original spokesmodel for practically no charge.

I say practically because, for being such a good sport, they gave me a bottle of whiskey as a bonus. I sent it home with my uncle Bill as a gift to my father.

So, scroll back up to the title of this entry and put in any monkey joke you like.

Canterbury Tale

To begin with, I must tell you that my wife is loveably sneaky. She would not tell me where it was we were going on this trip, only that I must book the day off and wear good walking shoes. I didn't know exactly where were going until we got on the bus!

The city centre of Canterbury is surrounded by an ancient wall. All the buildings have an old feeling, even if they have a Starbucks in them. If you look closely, there's one just to the right of the this arch that leads to the cathedral.

The cathedral is spectacular. Soaring spires, flying butresses, detailed statuary and intricate details in the masonry; it's a feast for the eyes. The very air inside has an aged feel to it, the ambience is quite amazing.
The stained glass windows are gorgeous. Of course, no photo could do them justice, but I've put my modest attempts on display here.These two were favourites of Brianne and me. They're quite recent compared to the other windows, the originals having been blown out during The Blitz. They were redone after WWII by a Jewish Hungarian immigrant who had escaped the deathcamps and come to England. His family had not been so fortunate. The photo below is of the window entitled "Salvation," and if you look to the right and left of the central figures of angels appearing to a kneeling prisoner, you can see jail doors flung open. What I found was really interesting when a guide pointed it out was that on the left-hand door there is depicted is a round padlock - which you may be able to see - and that if you looked very carefully at the padlock you could see that the keyhole was in the shape of a swastika; a very powerful thematic choice for the artisan to make, I thought.
Below you can see a picture of the sculpture which marks the spot where Thomas Beckett was murdered.

This succession of photos gives you a zoom,ing-in glimpse of looking straight up into a hundred foot spire.

After our time in the cathedral we wandered around some of the side streets and found a great Italian cafe to have a sandwich for lunch. We also found a shop dedicated to Winne-the-Pooh (!) and an ecclectic clothing store that Brianne vividly remembered visiting the last time she was in Canterbury with her school. We wandered along to find the ruins of Canterbury castle, which is really just a shell of the building it was in ancient times. Seriously, it would have been a garden shed compared to the Tower of London. One thing that tickled our fancy was that marking of a "Well-shaft" on the posted diagram of the ruin outside, and after reading it both B and I sang "SHAFT!" a la the classic TV theme . . . complete with jazz hands. We giggled on and off for the rest of the day over that one. Below is a picture of the hole in the ground that inspired us, and below that a view of the ruin from inside a spiral staircase window.

We finished off the day with a leisurely boat tour of a main causeway in Canterbury, a picture of which you can see above. The guide was very friendly with a dry wit. We saw some minor points of interests with a nice little story behind them, but the highlight really was steering the boat past a mama duck and her dozen little ducklings. Couldn't get a good enough picture of them, but they were so adorable we wanted to scoop one up and take it home in B's purse. After that we made our way back to the bus stop and trundled home, the end of a wonderful day.

We look forward to more daytrips in the future - to Leeds Castle, or Stratford-upon-Avon, or even the beach in Brighton!

The Godparents, & Random Thoughts to Pass the Time

I still haven't had the chance to upload the photos taken in Canterbury, so I continue to postpone writing about our trip there.

I saw Richard Branson and Sarah, Duchess of York at a function I was serving the other day.

Brianne and I had a great time with Aunt Mary and Uncle Bill (my godparents) last week, as they're visiting London right now. We went to lunch at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, one of the oldest pubs in London, dating back 400 years. Brianne and I sat in the same places usually frequented by Samuel Johnson and Charles Dickens! The classic British fare was delicious, we'll have to go back again.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

- We take for granted our conservation abilities in Canada. There is no recycling pick-up here, they just have specialized dumpsters for each item clustered together at seemingly random places. And forget about the Green Bin.

- The Brits are quite friendly and helpful on the street. Directions are given gladly, and mothers with prams are usually met with three different offers of help down stairs before they even get to them.

- TV commercial breaks come at a completely different rhythm than how we're used to, and programs are usually sponsored by one product, so you see the same placement at least a dozen times a show.

- After spending most of my life in cities and towns built in a general Grid pattern, it can be unnerving and frustrating to find one's way in a city that is almost entirely meandering Garden Path-style streets which change names every hundred metres and increase/decrease numbers in opposite directions on either side of the street. Grrrr.

- "Pushing Daisies" is a very fun show. It's been showing here in new release, though the season is done back home. Catch a rerun if you can.

- I've been reading some classic literature in my spare time, which I usually only find I have on Tube journeys. I finished "Murder on the Orient Express" (what an ending), and I'm in the middle of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," which I've never actually read but vividly remember hearing the book-on-tape as a child.